Connect with others who understand.

sign up log in
About myRAteam

Say "No" by Saying "Yes" to Something Else

Posted on June 05, 2019

Saying "no" with grace and honesty can be challenging. Sometimes our fear of ending a conversation awkwardly or letting a friend or relative down can nudge us into saying "yes" to things that are difficult for us. When managing a chronic condition, saying "no" can feel more complicated. Will they ever ask again? Will the invites stop coming? Have I said "no" too often?

An alternative way to say "no" is to create a third option, another choice. For instance, you are invited to a barbecue, but you don’t have the energy to socialize in a group setting. You could say, “I won’t make it to the barbecue, but maybe we can get coffee next week?”


Bad days or symptoms arising out of the blue are beyond your control. Asking for a raincheck or suggesting a future get-together instead shows it's important to you but lets you focus on self-care.

Here are some conversations from the community about this topic:

“I have to go to my father-in-law's birthday party and all I want to do is lay down.”

“Our grandson has had baseball games every night this week. We left at 8:30 pm before the second game was over.”

“It's important to find new activities that you can do. Spend time with people that understand.”

Have you found alternative ways of saying "no," without saying "no?"
Share in the comments below.

A myRAteam Member said:

posted 8 months ago

hug (2)

Recent articles

Rheumatoid arthritis  chest pain and interstitial lung disease
Article written by Eric Peacock Medically reviewed by Jeffrey A. Sparks, M.D., M.M.Sc. Rheumatoid...

Rheumatoid Arthritis, Chest Pain, and Interstitial Lung Disease

Article written by Eric Peacock Medically reviewed by Jeffrey A. Sparks, M.D., M.M.Sc. Rheumatoid...
Mht covid19 essentialupdates carousel
During the COVID-19 pandemic, myRAteam will provide summaries and links to articles of importance...

COVID-19 and Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA) Essential Updates

During the COVID-19 pandemic, myRAteam will provide summaries and links to articles of importance...
Ra and hydroxychloroquine %28plaquenil%29 shortages
Article written by Kelly Crumrin Medically reviewed by Jeffrey A. Sparks, M.D., M.M.Sc....

Rheumatoid Arthritis and Hydroxychloroquine (Plaquenil) Shortages

Article written by Kelly Crumrin Medically reviewed by Jeffrey A. Sparks, M.D., M.M.Sc....
Mht myrateam carousel ra covid19 greaterrisk
Article written by Christine Sprunger Medically reviewed by Siddharth Tambar, MDThe past several...

Rheumatoid Arthritis and COVID-19: Are You At a Greater Risk?

Article written by Christine Sprunger Medically reviewed by Siddharth Tambar, MDThe past several...
Coronavirus
Article written by Kelly Crumrin Those of us living with pre-existing, chronic conditions such as...

Canceling Is Kindness: Keeping Safe From COVID-19 With RA

Article written by Kelly Crumrin Those of us living with pre-existing, chronic conditions such as...
Ra header
We recently asked 374 members of myRAteam about their relationship and satisfaction with the...

The Results Are In: People Living With Rheumatoid Arthritis Are More Satisfied With Their Doctors When They Feel Heard and Understood

We recently asked 374 members of myRAteam about their relationship and satisfaction with the...
Setting intentions for 2020 with rheumatoid arthritis %28ra%29
Eat healthier. Exercise more. Learn a new skill. Pay off a credit card. Many of us have made...

Setting Intentions for 2020 With Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA)

Eat healthier. Exercise more. Learn a new skill. Pay off a credit card. Many of us have made...
Pins and needles sensations with rheumatoid arthritis
If you’ve ever felt like needles were poking your hands, arms, feet, or legs, you’re not alone....

Pins-and-Needles Sensations With Rheumatoid Arthritis

If you’ve ever felt like needles were poking your hands, arms, feet, or legs, you’re not alone....
Practicing gratitude with rheumatoid arthritis
This time of the year can be overwhelming with expectations around the holidays, and living with...

Practicing Gratitude With Rheumatoid Arthritis

This time of the year can be overwhelming with expectations around the holidays, and living with...
Rheumatoid arthritis and itching
Are you experiencing persistent and painful itching with rheumatoid arthritis (RA)? You’re not...

Rheumatoid Arthritis and Itching

Are you experiencing persistent and painful itching with rheumatoid arthritis (RA)? You’re not...
myRAteam My rheumatoid arthritis Team

Two Ways to Get Started with myRAteam

Become a Member

Connect with others who are living with rheumatoid arthritis. Get members only access to emotional support, advice, treatment insights, and more.

sign up

Become a Subscriber

Get the latest articles about rheumatoid arthritis sent to your inbox.

Not now, thanks

Privacy policy
myRAteam My rheumatoid arthritis Team

Thank you for signing up.

close