I’m starting to get anxious over the what-ifs when I think about the impact that this disease could have on me down the road. My husband would like to retire in about 5 years, and I already had to stop working four years ago because of another long-term disease that has pretty much rendered me disabled before R.A. was added to the picture. We’re almost 60 and trying to decide where we should live considering the physical impact… read more
It’s a tough time and important decisions to make! Hope you can stay positive and don’t give up hope. That’s a big part of fighting this ra. Prayers and hugs to you
Excellent question for thinking ahead and adjusting life to best deal with a new lifelong disease. My wife and I went thru this same thing you are and at about same age. Both Just retired early....sold an aging now too difficult to navigate 3 story house, moved to warmer climate to limit cold weather affect on joints, downsized to lower cost smaller house all on one level, no stairs at all, not even a front stoop. Also bought brand new home so many yrs won’t need any major maintenance or remodeling. In a neighborhood where our HOA fees cover each homeowners lawn mowing, weed whipping, leaf blowing, bushes trimming, seasonal planting of garden flowers in our garden beds, fertilizing, etc. Sold off all lawn equip on CL, don’t even have a rake anymore.
Hired a husband and wife housecleaning team that comes in weekly for 6 hrs of home scrubbing magic.
Groceries delivered. Also, love Amazon prime.
Readjusted our retirement savings/spending plan. New state has new benefit of lower tax burden, lower cost of living. Lots of other more minor changes.
Now, this may sound extreme to some...but being newly dx with RA and my wife several yrs in with fibromyalgia, there’s no way we were gonna let these diseases control our lives...no....we were gonna control them best we could with meaningful lifestyle changes.
Now, I do understand for some this is just way too much to think about, “impossible “ to consider for a variety of reasons, we initially had those thoughts. For my wife and I , we discussed and debated many many options for a long while before we decided on a plan that made sense, family wise, money wise, health care access wise, etc, then we made a plan and like the famous Nike slogan says...”Just Do It.”
Life is what you make it. Never give up. Being a victim or a survivor is a choice.
One can be like a leaf just blowing in the wind, or like a single acorn, planted with great thought and care in just that perfect location , during the worst current drought ever, so that tiny single acorn when the rains return eventually grows into......
Downsized from a 3000 sq ft house back to my little 1100 sq ft little cottage in the mountains. No stairs. Small, compact, I can make it to the kitchen or restroom in about 20 steps. I hired a yard guy to mow and weedeat. I still try to weed the flower beds. Got rid of all the carpeting. How do I sweep? I open the front and back doors and run the leaf blower. No joke, gets rid of the sweeping and dusting all in one fell swoop. Desperation is the mother of invention. I do not regret the move. Life is easier and I don't feel guilty if the house does not look like Better Homes and Garden. Hope you and hubby find a way to go smaller.
I, too, have anxiety and sadness & depression about our future. I was diagnosed with RA 6/2018. My hubby was dxed with stomach cancer 2 months after. He had treatment and a gastroectomy and treatment again. He is now cancer free and was back to work in May 2019. RA has worsened since April. We love our home (2 story) and i love gardening which i can barely do anymore. My hubby has a 2nd chance of life and i feel miserable everyday. Hate condo living. Lost our dog last Jan...would love to have another but feel i cant now. I do have 2 cats I am 65 and Ed is 60. I am usually positive but find it impossible with this scenario.. So i am right there with you. You are not alone. One is not to look at "the big picture" but hard not to when future looks grim.
We are considering a move also, if I can I still have 6 years until I'm 62. My husband has health issues too. Working and trying to keep up with the house is becoming a challenge. We have a small house but the cutting the grass takes us both to do now. Plus when things needed to be fixed we could do them and we really can't do as much of that either. Do what you and your husband think is best for you. Hugs